Have you ever woken up one morning to find that you are not happy with how your life was heading?  It could be small things, or major issues, but either way you just felt that something was off and you needed to change some things...well, I had that feeling yesterday.  I knew I was capable of so much more and I was not pushing myself in the right direction to fulfill that potential.  I was in a pissy mood all yesterday because of this realization and the inability to sit down and figure out what I should do about it all.

I have six classes left until I finish my bachelor's degree, I have nine months left until I seperate from the Marine Corps, and I have a wodnerful boyfriend that loves and supports me and with these things going for me I still feel like I am falling short of my dreams and desires.  But today I am better because I am creating a plan in my head.  Granted I am also drafting a paper on modern poetry and W.B. Yeats, planning my day, getting ready for a formation later this morning, cleaning my room and working on Japanese history homework, but there is still a plan brewing deep within.

They say 21 days is all it takes to form a new habit or break an old habit (who "they" are I am not quite sure).  I have 21 days from when I begin this plan to stick with things and watch myself become happier and healthier.  If you have ever found yourself wishing something was different, do not give up hope.  Sit down and think about what you want to change the most and then read and talk to people that are already doing what you want to do and then figure out a way to make yourself do what needs to be done!

Once I have a plan, I will share that, but right now I have to finish my homework, lace up my boots and prep my uniform (Oorah Marines!).

Namaste my friends!

~ Shana

Why must everything be complicated?  I have been talking to a friend regarding picking a major and it feels like what I decide upon for grad school will decide the course of the rest of my life.  There is so much pressure in a decision such as that.  Okay, I just have to step back and look at what I want out of life, what I am good at and what I feel I can give back - doesn't sound so hard.  Ha.

Life will figure itself out, but it is hard to step back and allow the flow to take you to where you are supposed to go.  Knowing where we are going to end up is so much easier to plan for - and I am a planning nut!  Deep breath in - deep breath out, deep breath in - deep breathe out.  That always feels so great!

I am going away this weekend for a hike to "Three Peaks" about an hour from base.  I will be sure to post some pics once I return.  I am in much need of some nature renewal!  I do hope that everyone is doing well.  I am still reading HH the Dalai Lama's book, "The Art of Happiness."  I have never read a book so slow, but I am actually taking the time to go through as I read and underline the passages that speak to me and then I go back and mull them over a few times.  It is a very refreshing book and I am looking forward to reading more from HH the Dalai Lama in the future.

This is going to be a short post today, my thoughts are not focusing and work is calling.  I hope everyone has a great day and as always, thanks for listening!

~Shana

Do you ever get the feeling that you are wasting so much time?  I get it all the time recently.  I could have read all those books sitting on my shelf.  I could have been writing and working to hone my craft.  I could have done this and I could have done that.  It is so draining just thinking about all of the things I could have done with the time I have had so far in life.

But I have decided to stop wasting so much time thinking about lost time and actually taking steps to do some of the things I am always talking about doing.  Now for the hard part...dividing my time.  Do I wake up and write or yoga or meditate or all three os some combination of two?  Keep in mind that I am still a Marine.  I am at work by 0730 which means an hour to get ready and eat breakfast okay so up at 0630.  But I have to catch the 0713 bus so up by 0615.  Not a problem.  Now if I do 30 minutes of yoga and 30 minutes to meditate that is going to have me up at 0515.  Now if I want to write anything legible and coherent I should probably do the yoga and meditation first, but how much time do I want to spend writing...30 minutes I am up at 0445...45 minutes writing I am up at 0415...it is not looking too good so far.  Let us look at time for the rest of the day...

Get to work...conduct business.  I am lucky enough that I can steal away during the day to run errands and even get an hour at the gym so by 1630 when I am done for the day I am pretty much on "me" time.  I usually have dinner with my bf and we get back to the barracks by about 1700 or 1715 and taking a shower after spending all day in cammies and steel toe safety boots usually requires a shower.  So, I am refreshed and kicking by 1830.  Now, I like to try and get to bed by 2200 at the latest (especially if I am getting up at 0430ish time frame).  How then should I seperate my time in the evenings...some PM yoga and PM meditation, maybe my writing that I did not fit in during the morning?  I still have laundry to do during the week so that will take a bit of time.  And since I am a Marine we have field day at least once a week and sometimes more depending on what is going on at the time.  Oh...did I mention that I am also a full-time student trying to finish my bachelor's degree?

Okay, so now I have three classes online where I have to make my own time to read the texts, study and do assignments and I have one on-site class on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1800-2100, sigh...and since field day goes on Wednesday nights, there goes that portion of the week.  Well, I am throughly depressed about my time.  And here I was thinking about trying to add a second part-time job for spending money.  Ha!  Okay, I can make this work...but I am going to have to work hard at it.  Well, I have gotten a lot off my chest and I will be sure to keep everyone posted on my scheduling conflicts...I am sure you will be on the edge of your seat until then.

But to get back to my original thought, or close to it, how do we decide what gets our time and what gets cast aside?  I have many things I would love to devote my time to but it seems I am stretching myself so thin already.  I do not want to do a lot of things average I would rather do a few things out of this world.  Sigh, I am going to work all this out and keep everyone posted.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

~Shana

Hello to everyone reading! I hope that everyone is having a great day! To my sister Katie - love you and I hope your test goes great! Well, the title mentions a variety of topics so I had better get started. First off: meditation. As those of you reading my blogs know, I have recently started meditating (by recently I mean the day before yesterday). Last night was field day in my barracks and I had a raging headache (mostly from being dehydrated I am sure) and it was only getting worse. Well, when I finally got to lay down around 2300 my mind would not settle in thoughts or pounding. So I decided to try meditating while I laid down, it was hard at first. My mind was fighting it, but eventually I won and I was able to quiet my mind enough so that I could focus on my breathing and before I knew it I was waking up to my alarm. No headache and I slept the whole night through (something rare for me). Sigh, needless to say I can not be more grateful for beginning my journey down the path of learning meditation. Next I will tackle goals. I learned something yesterday about goal setting (from my bf - he is a wealth of knowledge for me) and I thought I would share. There is an acronym titled SMART and it deals with making your goals something you can handle and truly see happen. S = specific M = measurable A = achievable R = relevant T = (this can have a few meanings) time-based / timely / tangible / thoughtful I will learn more about this when I go to a class next week but I just found the concept very thought-provoking. I have a lot of goals but so many get pushed aside or forgotten and with this new idea I know I can make them all come true. I just have to plan properly and take it one step at a time. How exciting! Budgets - how un-exciting can you get?! I have a year left in the Marine Corps and I am trying to save as much money as I can so that when I get out and start grad school I will not be in a panic or living off ramen (again - echo of freshman year undergrad). Creating a budget and actually seeing how much money you have to play with and being completely honest with yourself about your spending habits - not the most fun in the world. But I am growing to appreciate the pain. I know that I will be happier because of my planning and able to better contribute to my community when I get out. Which leads me to some thoughts I had while reading some more of HH the Dalai Lama's book, "The Art of Happiness." "True happiness relates more to the mind and heart. Happiness that depends mainly on physical pleasure is unstable; one day it's there, the next day it may not be." (pg. 33) "Everyday we are faced with numerous decisions and choices. And try as we may, we often don't choose the thing that we know is 'good for us.' Part of this is related to the fact that the 'right choice' is often the difficult one - the one that involves some sacrifice of our pleasure." (pg. 34) "Will it bring me happiness?...Approaching our daily decisions and choices with this question in mind shifts the focus from what we are denying ourselves to what we are seeking - ultimate happiness." (pg. 36) I found the above quotes so helpful in getting me to change the way I have been looking at things in my life. It all seems to simple now - pleasure: not lasting, happiness: lasting. I would rather have the happiness all the time and when the pleasure comes along then I will enjoy it, but I will not focus solely on that aspect of my life. Sigh...well with all this in mind I am happy to look towards my future with a smile and know that I am on a good path. Namaste. ~Shana

Well, this morning was my first solo yoga session.  It was only 20 minutes but it was so refreshing and then I did my first ever AM meditation session.  I have been to one Ashtanga session before and that wore me out.  I have to build up to that series of poses.  But this morning I did child's pose and mountain pose after some adjustments and getting used to the positions.  It was so nice.  I am so excited about doing some more tonight and tomorrow morning.

My meditation this morning was guided by a DVD from Gaiam, AM and PM Meditation.  The AM was so relaxing.  I started with about ten minutes of some modified yoga stretching to "lengthen the spine and promote circulation" and then went into almost 15 minutes of guided meditation.  It was so nice, the background music just blended away and I was able to focus on Rodney voice and my breathing.  I am looking forward to the PM meditation tonight. 

I have field day tonight so it will be a great way to bring me back to center and to drown out the loud music from all the rooms cleaning.  I have felt lighter and more awake all day just from those early 40 minutes or so.  Sigh, it is worth going to bed a little earlier and waking up a tad sooner just for this feeling. 

Thank you for listening and I will be sure to post more as I develop and gain new insights!

Namaste (I learned about this as well).

~Shana

From His Holiness the Dalai Lama...

"The true antidote of greed is contentment.  If you have a strong sense of contentment, it doesn't matter whether you obtain the object or not; either way, you are still content." (pg. 29)

I have found that this is so true.  Even as recent as six months ago I would focus on having this book or that book, I wanted this better camera and that DVD.  Things, things, things...more, more, more.  But, recently I have found enjoyment in reading the books I already own, or just going some place quiet and sitting to listen to nature.  I find joy just giving and receiving hugs from my beau.  The little things mean so much more to me now.  Cooking a meal with friends, listen to Yo-yo Ma play the cello, my heart dances.

Why are so many focused on things that are so trivial in life?  Everyone thinks they are striving towards the goal of happiness, but as His Holiness the Dalai Lama points out in the book, you can only keep obtaining things until you run into something that you can not have and then you are sent spiraling down into depression - how is that going to make anyone happy?  How then do we spread the word about learning to be content with what you have?

I think this is a huge challenge for me and one I accept.  I have been trying in my barracks to really get people to stop complaining about the things they don't have or can't do and focus on the things they do have and the many possibilities open to them if they would just opne their eyes.  This is so much harder than I thought it would be.  I know that I was once the same as them and I am not perfect yet (I still want a digital SLR, but I am constantly reminding myself that I have a film SLR and I should work more with her before I replace her) and I go through personal arguments every day, but I am getting better.

I have found that there are a lot of people that love and thrive on being miserable.  But being content is so much more fun.  I will continue to puch forward in my own upward climb towards contentment and help others to join me.

I had a wonderful weekend - too short in my opinion.

I started reading The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama and it is a great book.  To live your life with the goal of finding happiness is a great goal.  The beginning talks about how just being happier can cause someone to be a kinder and more thoughtful person and it got me thinking about how true that is in my own life.  If I am down in the dumps, usually over something silly and not worth my time, I snap easier and I am less quick to offer my assistance.  However, if I am happy I am the first to jump up and offer my services.

I have been trying to change this.  Even when I am not so happy I am trying to go out of my way to still help other people and I find that just this act alone often helps to raise my spirits.

Just some thoughts.

I started my journey towards one of my goals this weekend as well - a new fitness mentality.  I have a personal trainer that is very focused on positive energy and teaches Yoga here on base.  I have come to realize that the Marine Corps way of fitness is not the way for me.  Running until I am broken and puking is not my idea of healthy or fun.  She worked with me on form and we are taking it slow so that I can develop the fundamentals and habits needed to carry me through life, not just a temporary fix.

In boot camp lasts three months and I lost over 30 pounds while there.  It was not the healthy way to lose weight, we ran or marched everywhere and they never really give you enough time to eat more than a few bites so it was easy to lose weight and not realize you were still hungry.  You were too tired and busy to stop and think about food.  But now that it had been about three years since boot camp I have gained most of the 30 back and have gotten out of shape for my own personal standards.

I have bad knees and a back injury so I am looking forward to a program that will allow me to build my weaknesses into strengths.

I also get to register for my Japanese class today.  The class starts Aug. 21 and what better place to learn Japanese than in Japan?!

I hope that everyone has a great day!!

It is still morning here in Japan so I will begin with a Good Morning!

I am so excited about joining Zaadz.  I think the positive energy contained within this site is just what I need to keep my life moving forward in the right direction.  I look forward to making many new friends and sharing my experiences.

I am not shy so if anyone ever has any questions I look forward to hearing them.

I will post more later - I am hooked already - but I am still at work and the Marine Corps calls!!

Thanks!

Shana